Tondaleya Robinson

This companion I have clung to more since the passing of my husband, has been my bestest friend. This companion is prayer. Through life, I have been taught the importance of prayer. It is a communication between me and God. Sometimes when I do not want to talk to noone else, I find comfort in prayer. Because God knows what is on my mind and in my heart, he will be honest with me. I remember praying to him the day before Charles past. I had just came from visiting him in the hospital. He expressed to me he was ready to go, home to Glory that is. It wanted to assure me that everything would be taken care of as far as the bills, the house, the kids, etc. I personally felt a little different.

On the way home, I had to earnestly think within myself, if I truly wanted him to come to his earthly home not fully healed. I knew this would mean more visits back and forth, back and forth, to and from the hospital. When I got to evening prayer at my church, I got on my knees and began to pray. I put all my options before me. The thought of him leaving us, him coming home in pain, taking more medication, him being uncomfortable, and the list goes on. In addition to dealing with all of this, I attended college two days a week.

I finally came to a resolution. I prayed, “Lord if you are not going to fully heal him, then take him.” Once I got out of my feelings, I was able to pray realistically. Well I knew he would answer, but not sure how. The next day, while at work, I received a call from his doctor stating, “Mrs. Robinson we lost Charles this morning.” Initially, my heart broke. I got up from my desk and my supervisor and coworker could tell it was the call. My supervisor said, “Go, we’ll shut your system down. The hard part was yet to come, telling my children their dad was gone. How did I do it? How did I get pass it? How did you do it? How did you get pass it? Share your story.

Whether we can see it or not, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. The light is an indication of reaching your destination. In order to see it, we all must pass through whatever life’s challenges may bring us. Perhaps if we see the light before we get to the end and means we see the challenges ahead as well, which ultimately deter us from going through. No one knows what life will serve us but knowing we will get through it gives us a ray of hope. The hope of knowing we can make it, go through and come out better than we did when the challenge first arose. A ray of hope could be the motivation of our children, church, family, the job, or whatever.

Remembering the joy our loved one shared with us, gives us hope in knowing they have reached their destination. They made the best of life, encouraged us as well as others and would hope we do the same. My husband, Charles, was an ill person for most of the 22 years of our marriage but he gave me hope by demonstrating what it meant to endure hardness as a good soldier. He endured the suffering, knowing it would not compare to the benefits at the end. Being a faithful and dedicated member of our church, motivated him to press through the pain.

I am sure many of you have watched you loved one suffer beyond our control and now they are better off than us. They have no more pain or suffering, heartache or shame, rest everlasting. Share your inspirational ray of hope story with the next person.

Since I became a widow in 2011, I wondered why there is no help out there for people like me. I have three grown children and own my home but when my husband passed, the struggle became real. I sought out temporary assistance but there was none. Has anyone else experience this? Not meeting the criteria of losing a spouse who served in the armed services, police, or firefighter. Nor meeting the criteria of having children with disabilities. Where do people like us go from here?

Getting from point A to point B has not been an easy time but having the support of family and friends help me arrive safe. Talking about these struggles was healing for me.

Here are some links which could possibly answer some of these questions.

• http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gloria-horsley/ten-places-grieving-widow_b_8039916.html
• https://whatsyourgrief.com/expanding-our-understanding-of-coping-with-life-after-loss/
• http://widowedvillage.org/profiles/blog/list